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Silver Fic
... giving Ianto the key to Jack's happiness since 2009
Torchwood One Shot 
18th-May-2009 02:17 am
Title: Ianto's Secret
Chapter: One Shot
Characters: Ianto Jones, Gwen Cooper, Jack Harkness
Author: a_silver_story
Genre Humour
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied M/M
Disclaimer: If I owned anything in this, I'd be a rich rich rich bitch. However, I am not a rich rich rich bitch so you may all, therefore, assume I own nothing. Which I don't. It all belongs RTD and the BBC, in case any of you didn't know.
Summary: Gwen arrives at the office early, to find into writhing in his chair and gasping in pain ...

Gwen fumbled with the messenger bag and the large stack of files balanced precariously against her hip as she desperately tried to press the buzzer for the Tourist Centre intercom. She cursed under her breath, unable to reach high enough to push the button and realizing that if she did somehow manage to twist the laws of physics to enable her to touch it, she’d drop the neatly Ianto-organized files all over the decking. Some of it would probably find its way through the slats and into the water below. It would probably be easier to unlock the door manually. Ianto would probably be at home this early anyway – or with Jack in the hub. There were a surprising amount of "probably"s at only 7 am.

She managed to slide her key into the low yale lock, twisting it and stepping inside quickly so that her wrist didn’t snap off holding the catch back. Gwen made as if to put the large collection of files on to the tourist desk and let out a little surprised squeak to see Ianto already sat there, eyes closed as if catching a couple of moments rest. His eyes flew open as she stumbled in to the office and he sat bolt upright in his chair, I slight flush creeping up his collar in embarrassment at being caught off guard.

“Morning, love!” Gwen said brightly, flashing him a bleary, 7 am smile.

He nodded, acknowledging her presence. Gwen frowned. He seemed a little distant.

“Are you alright, Ianto? You seem a little distant.”

“Yes, yes, yes. I’m fine.” He insisted, suddenly gripping the edge of the desk, closing his eyes and sucking in a long, sharp breath. He let out a small cry that Gwen could only assume was pain. “Just … ah … ahhh … aha … Just go on down, Gwen.” With some effort, he reach over to the button that would trigger the secret door in the wall.

Gwen placed the files on an empty part of the desk. Something wasn’t right. “Are you sure you’re okay, Ianto? You seem to be in pain.”

Ianto let out a small laugh. “Yeah …”

“Is it a stomach ache? Bad bowels?”

He didn’t reply, but let out another exasperated laugh.

“It’s okay Ianto, you can tell me. Maybe I could fetch you something?” She reached out to his hand, but he snatched it away and shoved it under the desk as if he was hiding it from her.

“Don’t … ah!” he gasped. “Seriously Gwen … don’t worry … Just … oh! … Just go on down!” He bit his lower lip hard and his eyes involuntarily closed again.

Gwen was having none of it.

“Ianto Jones, if you’re ill – and clearly, you’re in a lot of pain – you should go home.”

She made as if to grab his shoulders and spin him round, but he gripped the edge of the desk again and pulled himself into it as close as his chair would allow. He grunted, and moaned something unintelligible, lowering his head to the desk as he raised his hands to cradle his forehead. “Really Gwen … just … ah … I’m fine …”

“If you’re ill … it’s alright. I can handle Jack, if you want.” His head snapped round as his hands simultaneously went back under the desk in one quick, jerky movement.

“Jack …” he said.

“Do you want me to fetch him?” Asked Gwen as Ianto’s eyes began to close again.

“Oh … yes … ah … Jack …”

Gwen turned and exited through the secret door. The sensors triggered, closing the door behind her as she shouted back: “I’ll fetch some aspirin, too!” and leaving Ianto on his own.

…. Or so she thought.


The second Gwen had left, Ianto finally let go. He dragged his tie across his mouth in an attempt to gag his screams as he arched back into his chair, red flush creeping from his collar to his cheeks. He whimpered as the moment passed, closing his eyes and taking several deep breaths. Ianto opened his eyes, calmly and pushed back from the desk slightly.

“You know,” he said snappily into the space below it. “You could have stopped when Gwen came in.”

Captain Jack emerged, wiping the corners of his mouth and smiling an evil smile.

“Of course I could,” he practically whispered, remaining on his knees, eye-level with Ianto. “But that wouldn’t have made you feel quite so dir-”

“Here you go, sweetheart – oh!” Gwen stopped by the secret door, her brain processing the sight in front of her and comparing it to the events of two minutes ago. “Ah …” she said. “Well … I … ah … hmm ... ah ... well ... hee hee ... ha ... hum ... back to work then … ?”

Ianto flushed the same colour as his shirt as Jack snaked an arm round his shoulders and planted a kiss on his forehead and said:

“Ianto’s already done plenty of working today ... and it's only 7am!”


a_silver_story Fanfic Index
18th-May-2009 02:02 am (UTC)
Very cute! Loved Gwen's reaction and her untimely assistance. Really made me smile. :D
18th-May-2009 11:41 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
18th-May-2009 02:22 am (UTC)
LOL cute !!! I like it !!!
18th-May-2009 11:41 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
(Deleted comment)
18th-May-2009 11:41 am (UTC)
Aww thank you!
18th-May-2009 03:01 am (UTC)
Hahahaha. Awesome. So completely awesome. xD Eeeeebil Jack. ^^
18th-May-2009 11:42 am (UTC)
You are too kind! Thanks for the feedback x
18th-May-2009 05:51 am (UTC)
Lol!!! Very nice :D
18th-May-2009 11:42 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
18th-May-2009 08:41 am (UTC)
Gwen really is clueless! Doesn't say much for Rhys's skills if she can't tell the difference between pain and pleasure!
18th-May-2009 11:43 am (UTC)
Hee hee!

I supposed she'd jump to the worst case scenario in that situation - with Torchwood, it's always the worst case scenario!

Thanks for the feedback :)
18th-May-2009 09:34 am (UTC)
brilliant! :D - very funny :)
18th-May-2009 11:43 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
18th-May-2009 12:40 pm (UTC)
Bad Jack!!! ormenting Ianto like that!
23rd-May-2009 11:00 am (UTC)
I like your icon in relation to your comment! Hehe!
23rd-May-2009 12:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks!!! And of course I meant 'tormenting' and not 'ormenting' LOL!!! I just saw little typo >_
18th-May-2009 02:03 pm (UTC)
lol, poor Ianto. no wonder he's becoming immune to losing his dignity. lovely job!
18th-May-2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
Typical Gwen walking in on them :D
18th-May-2009 06:26 pm (UTC)
19th-May-2009 06:17 pm (UTC)
LOL! Very nice! Jack's such a filthy boy...!

Great job!
9th-Jun-2009 05:19 pm (UTC)
Love this :) Yes I'm reading your IM's and reading this too.

15th-Jul-2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
Hehe, this makes me giggle everytime I read it! (which is often) I also follow your IM series (which I am loving!) x
15th-Jul-2009 10:57 pm (UTC)

This is one of my favourite things I've ever written ^_^
20th-May-2010 11:32 pm (UTC)
Ah memories... it's been a year and i'm still glad to be your minion!
22nd-May-2010 07:11 am (UTC)

One minute you have be crying my eyeballs out in Ballad and now I'm laughing so hard my belly is screaming in pain.

You should feel more than "cheerful", you should practically be at orgasmic with Ianto over the success of this piece!!!!
21st-Jun-2010 02:10 pm (UTC)
Ohhhh.... this is naughty and nice :-)

Poor clueless Gwen and bad, naughty Jack.

Thanks for the much appreciated belly laughs.
24th-Jul-2010 03:41 am (UTC)
21st-May-2011 04:28 pm (UTC)
*SNORT* Guess who's never coming...er, showing up for work early again?? (You know she was jealous)
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